( perhaps he ought to take his own advice, he decides, when wriothesley asks about him. out of instinct, he is prone to telling him that he's fine, because he eventually will be, because no one wants to hear about the new nightmares that plague him, or the newfound, unfamiliar, utterly irrational fear that he might discover him fighting for life again, barely holding himself together.
he feels soothed, just a little, surprised by his touch. he can't help a small smile at that new nickname, and he pulls him closer, like he's afraid wriothesley might slip through his fingers if he lets go. he wakes often, just to make sure that wriothesley is sleeping soundly beside him, unharmed and whole.
neuvillette exhales quietly. ) This is new, we both understand this. I have been... more prone to irrational fears of late, involving you.
( he cups his cheek, pressing a soft kiss to the side of his lips, leaning into his lover's touch. ) And I've noticed how you tend to go silent, as well... in here.
( a gentle gesture to his temple. ) Has it been bothering you?
[ it’s a curious thing, to consider emotions as something almost tangible. or at least something another can hear, in a sense, through a bond shared with someone wriothesley holds close. intimacy on its own has become familiar territory for them both by now, but pairing it with a constant, implicit tether makes the experience entirely different.
it may simply be how neuvillette reads him now: the silence he catches is the same stillness wriothesley falls into when he carefully listens, and the muted feelings that follow are the focus he pours into forming a meaningful answer. he’s always been that way—sensitive enough to place himself in another’s shoes, yet grounded enough to tamp down his own feelings so he can examine things as rationally as a human can.
and yet nothing in that quiet pushes neuvillette away. if anything, the shared space of their emotions only settles more comfortably between them, until wriothesley is pulled out of his thoughts by the warmth of a soft kiss and a palm holding his cheek. ]
I don’t think so, no. [ it’s the best answer he has, offered with a contemplative hum and the slow glide of his fingers through neuvillette’s bangs. tenderness softens his expression before his hand slips down to join the other, wrapping neuvillette in a loose hold and drawing him chest-to-chest. close enough to feel the rhythm of the other’s heart through his bandages. ] Though I would ask in return what it feels like to be so steady that your words end up carrying more weight than you might ever intend them to.
[ despite the seriousness of the question, a silent huff of laughter stirs against neuvillette; more felt than heard. it’s never surprising to find the other operating at a different level of calm; being a sovereign and centuries of taking up the mantle of fontaine's judgment have shaped a sort of brevity and clarity that can be both distant and cutting. however, that perspective is one wriothesley thinks he needs in any sort of trusting relationship, and one he has come to love. ]
But like you said, this is still new to both of us. And I think we might need some time yet to get a feel for the ins and outs of our emotions. [ picking apart their bond and chasing it down to the hard truth beneath it isn’t something solved in a single night. but the fact that they stepped into the conversation at all, willingly and openly, is its own kind of progress. draining after everything they’ve endured, yes, but this is a kind of honesty wriothesley trusts neuvillette with. ] However… I think fear is something we both understand fairly well.
[ he doesn’t pull neuvillette into a tighter hold, but one of his hands traces slow circles along the dips of his back, comforting and coaxing almost. ]
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he feels soothed, just a little, surprised by his touch. he can't help a small smile at that new nickname, and he pulls him closer, like he's afraid wriothesley might slip through his fingers if he lets go. he wakes often, just to make sure that wriothesley is sleeping soundly beside him, unharmed and whole.
neuvillette exhales quietly. ) This is new, we both understand this. I have been... more prone to irrational fears of late, involving you.
( he cups his cheek, pressing a soft kiss to the side of his lips, leaning into his lover's touch. ) And I've noticed how you tend to go silent, as well... in here.
( a gentle gesture to his temple. ) Has it been bothering you?
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it may simply be how neuvillette reads him now: the silence he catches is the same stillness wriothesley falls into when he carefully listens, and the muted feelings that follow are the focus he pours into forming a meaningful answer. he’s always been that way—sensitive enough to place himself in another’s shoes, yet grounded enough to tamp down his own feelings so he can examine things as rationally as a human can.
and yet nothing in that quiet pushes neuvillette away. if anything, the shared space of their emotions only settles more comfortably between them, until wriothesley is pulled out of his thoughts by the warmth of a soft kiss and a palm holding his cheek. ]
I don’t think so, no. [ it’s the best answer he has, offered with a contemplative hum and the slow glide of his fingers through neuvillette’s bangs. tenderness softens his expression before his hand slips down to join the other, wrapping neuvillette in a loose hold and drawing him chest-to-chest. close enough to feel the rhythm of the other’s heart through his bandages. ] Though I would ask in return what it feels like to be so steady that your words end up carrying more weight than you might ever intend them to.
[ despite the seriousness of the question, a silent huff of laughter stirs against neuvillette; more felt than heard. it’s never surprising to find the other operating at a different level of calm; being a sovereign and centuries of taking up the mantle of fontaine's judgment have shaped a sort of brevity and clarity that can be both distant and cutting. however, that perspective is one wriothesley thinks he needs in any sort of trusting relationship, and one he has come to love. ]
But like you said, this is still new to both of us. And I think we might need some time yet to get a feel for the ins and outs of our emotions. [ picking apart their bond and chasing it down to the hard truth beneath it isn’t something solved in a single night. but the fact that they stepped into the conversation at all, willingly and openly, is its own kind of progress. draining after everything they’ve endured, yes, but this is a kind of honesty wriothesley trusts neuvillette with. ] However… I think fear is something we both understand fairly well.
[ he doesn’t pull neuvillette into a tighter hold, but one of his hands traces slow circles along the dips of his back, comforting and coaxing almost. ]
Did you want to talk about it some?